{"title":"Boats","description":"\u003cp\u003eEvery phrase we make for people who own boats, or who are about to make that mistake on purpose. Stickers and prints together.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"to-own-an-ugly-boat-bumper-sticker","title":"To Own an Ugly Boat — Bumper Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eFifteen inches of unsolicited opinion for the back of your boat.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it sincerely or wear it as a confession. Nobody looking at it will be able to tell which, and that is most of the fun.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e15″ × 3.75″ — a proper bumper sticker, not a small one described generously\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWater, scratch, and UV resistant white vinyl\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGlossy finish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBubble-free application; peels off clean when you want it gone\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eMade for a transom, a tailgate, a dock box, or a cooler lid. Apply to a clean, dry, flat surface and press it down with a cloth.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted in the USA after you order it. Most orders arrive within 5–10 business days.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Life's Too Short","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50131231310074,"sku":"8524498_16362","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0856\/8078\/3610\/files\/kiss-cut-stickers-white-15x3.75-default-6a84ad79927fd.png?v=1787080078"},{"product_id":"to-own-an-ugly-boat-3-inch-sticker","title":"To Own an Ugly Boat — 3″ Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eThree inches square, for the places a bumper sticker will not fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCooler lid, tackle box, laptop, or the inside of a dock box where only you will ever see it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e3″ × 3″\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWater, scratch, and UV resistant white vinyl\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGlossy finish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBubble-free application; peels off clean when you want it gone\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eApply to a clean, dry, flat surface and press it down with a cloth.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted in the USA after you order it. Most orders arrive within 5–10 business days. Add two more and you are past the free shipping line.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Life's Too Short","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50131235176698,"sku":"7146293_10163","price":10.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0856\/8078\/3610\/files\/kiss-cut-stickers-white-3x3-default-6a84ae6005731.png?v=1787080299"},{"product_id":"to-own-an-ugly-boat-print","title":"To Own an Ugly Boat — Print","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe phrase set the way it deserves to be — heavy condensed type on a ruled cream ground, with the word that carries the joke in rust.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt looks like a nautical placard and reads like a warning label. Put it in the garage, the office, or the room where the boat paperwork lives.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTwo sizes: 12″ × 18″ and 18″ × 24″\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThick matte paper, 189 g\/m², sourced from Japan\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e94% opacity, no show-through\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips unframed, rolled in a rigid tube\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eBoth sizes fit standard off-the-shelf frames, which will cost you less locally than we could ever ship glass for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted in the USA after you order it. Most orders arrive within 5–10 business days.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Life's Too Short","offers":[{"title":"12″×18″","offer_id":50131254280442,"sku":"6191253_3876","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18″×24″","offer_id":50131254313210,"sku":"6191253_1","price":42.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0856\/8078\/3610\/files\/enhanced-matte-paper-poster-_in_-12x18-front-6a84b10a63201.png?v=1787080982"},{"product_id":"to-own-an-ugly-boat-script-print","title":"To Own an Ugly Boat — Script Print","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe same line, lettered the way boat names have always been lettered — gold script on deep navy, ruled top and bottom.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWarmer than the cream version and considerably easier to give as a gift. This is the one people buy for somebody else and then order again for themselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e12″ × 18″\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThick matte paper, 189 g\/m², sourced from Japan\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e94% opacity, no show-through\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips unframed, rolled in a rigid tube\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eFits standard off-the-shelf frames. A dark mat or a plain black frame suits it best.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted in the USA after you order it. Most orders arrive within 5–10 business days.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Life's Too Short","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50131266404602,"sku":"6800131_3876","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0856\/8078\/3610\/files\/enhanced-matte-paper-poster-_in_-12x18-front-6a84f387314e7.png?v=1787097994"},{"product_id":"to-stay-at-the-dock-bumper-sticker","title":"To Stay at the Dock — Bumper Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eFifteen inches of unsolicited opinion for the back of your boat.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor the person who has never once regretted going out, and has regretted staying in every single time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e15″ × 3.75″ — a proper bumper sticker, not a small one described generously\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWater, scratch, and UV resistant white vinyl\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGlossy finish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBubble-free application; peels off clean when you want it gone\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eMade for a transom, a tailgate, a dock box, or a cooler lid. Apply to a clean, dry, flat surface and press it down with a cloth.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted in the USA after you order it. Most orders arrive within 5–10 business days.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Life's Too Short","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50131279282426,"sku":"6128586_16362","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0856\/8078\/3610\/files\/kiss-cut-stickers-white-15x3.75-default-6a84f3cb23946.png?v=1787098062"},{"product_id":"to-stay-at-the-dock-3-inch-sticker","title":"To Stay at the Dock — 3″ Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eThree inches square, for the places a bumper sticker will not fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCooler lid, tackle box, laptop, or the inside of a dock box where only you will ever see it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e3″ × 3″\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWater, scratch, and UV resistant white vinyl\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGlossy finish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBubble-free application; peels off clean when you want it gone\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eApply to a clean, dry, flat surface and press it down with a cloth.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted in the USA after you order it. Most orders arrive within 5–10 business days. Add two more and you are past the free shipping line.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Life's Too Short","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50131292356858,"sku":"9304851_10163","price":10.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0856\/8078\/3610\/files\/kiss-cut-stickers-white-3x3-default-6a84f42f3a9d1.png?v=1787098162"},{"product_id":"to-stay-at-the-dock-print","title":"To Stay at the Dock — Print","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe phrase set the way it deserves to be — heavy condensed type on a ruled cream ground, with the word that carries the joke in rust.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt looks like a nautical placard and reads like a warning label. Put it in the garage, the office, or the room where the boat paperwork lives.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTwo sizes: 12″ × 18″ and 18″ × 24″\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThick matte paper, 189 g\/m², sourced from Japan\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e94% opacity, no show-through\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips unframed, rolled in a rigid tube\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eBoth sizes fit standard off-the-shelf frames, which will cost you less locally than we could ever ship glass for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted in the USA after you order it. Most orders arrive within 5–10 business days.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Life's Too Short","offers":[{"title":"12″×18″","offer_id":50131303235834,"sku":"7476853_3876","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18″×24″","offer_id":50131303268602,"sku":"7476853_1","price":42.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0856\/8078\/3610\/files\/enhanced-matte-paper-poster-_in_-18x24-front-6a84f498bfe79.png?v=1787098268"},{"product_id":"to-stay-at-the-dock-script-print","title":"To Stay at the Dock — Script Print","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe same line, lettered the way boat names have always been lettered — gold script on deep navy, ruled top and bottom.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWarmer than the cream version and considerably easier to give as a gift. This is the one people buy for somebody else and then order again for themselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e12″ × 18″\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThick matte paper, 189 g\/m², sourced from Japan\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e94% opacity, no show-through\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips unframed, rolled in a rigid tube\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eFits standard off-the-shelf frames. A dark mat or a plain black frame suits it best.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted in the USA after you order it. Most orders arrive within 5–10 business days.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Life's Too Short","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50131304120570,"sku":"2228051_3876","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0856\/8078\/3610\/files\/enhanced-matte-paper-poster-_in_-12x18-front-6a84f59461d06.png?v=1787098519"}],"url":"https:\/\/lifestooshortco.com\/collections\/boats.oembed","provider":"Life's Too Short","version":"1.0","type":"link"}